|
At a sudden, sharp swaying of the train Johnny awakes with a start. He sits up and wipes
his hand across his face, noticing by its wetness that he has been drooling in his sleep.
Immediately, he sees that he is no longer alone in the compartment. Opposite him sits a
small priest. In fact, he is a dwarf. Without thinking, his brain still fogged with sleep,
Johnny stares bug-eyed at him. Not only has the Fucker-faster never seen a dwarf priest
before, but this one looks just like Howdy Doody.
The man returns Johnny's rude stare with a congenial
smile. He jumps off his seat and toddles over to grasp Johnny's hand, placing in it the
copy of Saint Augustine.
"I believe you dropped something," he says amiably, in American-accented English.
Johnny finally realizes he has been staring, and looks down,
embarrassed. The priest, still smiling, crawls back up into his seat.
"Yes . . . I . . . thank you," stammers Johnny. "Don't be embarrassed," says the priest kindly. "Most
people have never seen a dwarf priest before and I'm used to the stares. It's my little
cross," he adds, chuckling.
"Yes," says Johnny, not knowing what else to say.
"I believe
there are only two of us," continues the priest. "Little people priests, that is. The
other one lives in the States. In Michigan, I think. I've never met him," he adds as an
afterthought.
"Yes," says Johnny.
"By the way," says the priest, jumping off the seat
again and offering Johnny his hand, "Father Don Toole. Nice to meet you!"
"Enchanted," says Johnny, placing his hand in the priest's two tiny ones, and
warming to the little man's infectious good nature.
"Are you American?" asks Johnny.
"Well, I wasn't born there," answers the priest, "but I lived in the States for many
years and I feel quite American. How about you?"
"I was born in Chicago," replies Johnny. "But I've been
living in France for the past ten years."
"An expatriate, eh?" says the priest with a
chuckle. "Product of the war in Vietnam?"
"No," says Johnny. "I came over after Nixon got elected. Since then I've only been back
once for a visit. It's difficult to go back now," he adds.
"Yes," agrees the priest. "Air fare is so very expensive these days."
"Well, it's not exactly that," admits the Fuckerfaster, looking down at his hands. "You
see, Father, I'm terrified of airplanes. And the last time I went back we hit bad
turbulence at 30,000 feet over the Atlantic. The plane was buffeting severely. In a moment
of madness I promised God I would never see another pornographic movie if only He would
get me safely back on the ground . . . ."
Johnny cocks one eye up at the priest to see his reaction.
" . . . and that was about 150 porno movies ago," he adds. "I don't dare
get into another airplane now."
The warm, amused smile still plays on the dwarf's face,
but Johnny can see a little hint of discomfort there, resulting from this unexpected
confession.
"God is not vindictive," says the priest gently.
"With me He is," replies Johnny grimly.
|
